True story of a patient
When The Phone Call Comes - A wife's story.
Our Story over the past few months has been tragic, challenging, enriching, amazing and worth sharing.
On the 9th September 2006 at approximately 4.30pm my stomach churned. My worst fear had been realized. I had the sense to sit down as I tried to take in what I was being told. As I held the phone to my ear I listened as the Police Officer informed me in a hurried fashion that my husband had been involved in a serious motor vehicle accident west of Nyngan, and was being loaded into an ambulance as he spoke.
I suddenly felt the energy drain from my body but my mind went into overtime with a whirl of questions. What part of his body was hurt? Was it a head injury? Is his spine OK? Is he dying? The officer informed me that his right leg looked severely hurt. I remember saying, "Thank God its not his head or spine." The officer replied, "but you must realize its very bad."
I have been married to a motorcyclist for 16 years. My mind had often played out the scene of receiving a phone call from the Police informing me that my worst fears had been realized. I breathed a sigh of relief - it didn't sound life threatening, it was his leg not his head. It wasn't until later, when I saw him that the gravity of it all hit me.
Russell was to attend quarterly meetings held in Dubbo for Cornerstone Community. Russell was 30km west of Nyngan travelling on his pride and joy, a Yamaha FJR1300, when he saw the oncoming vehicle stray onto his side of the road. Russell took action, moving to the far left of his lane and preparing to go of the road, but it was too late.
Before he knew it he was hit, flung and was scraping along the ground to a stop. He groaned, and then prayed as he saw his leg had been sliced open by the impact of the car.
Very quickly people were on the scene offering help and comfort. An ambulance had been called. Who these people were I don't know. But they could be called angels as they administered first aid and kept Russell as comfortable as possible.
Russell remembers a voice saying, "Sorry mate, I must have blanked out." He felt the touch of rough hands taking his. How would you respond? What would you say to the man who was driving the car that hit you? Russell said, "It's alright mate, we'll get through it."
Russell was ambulanced to Dubbo Base Hospital. After medical evaluation he was flown to Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPA) in Sydney. This was to be his home for the next seven weeks.
Russell and I have four children. We live in the city of Broken Hill located in far west NSW. Friends quickly came to my rescue. The kids were billeted with friends until their Grandmother arrived to look after them. A flight to Sydney was organized and paid for. Very soon I found myself in a surreal situation. I was in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) of RPA looking at my husband who had tubes protruding from every possible place, pale as death, and in an induced coma.
Although I felt powerless, I also had a deep sense of confidence that Russell was in the right place to have the best chance of recovery. I watched with awe as the staff of RPA ICU worked to stabilize Russell's condition. His body had gone into severe shock causing fluid on the lungs. He was suffering from severe pneumonia. It became evident that shock was more life threatening than the leg injury.
Russell wasn't the only one suffering from shock. After his condition was stabilized, the doctors informed me that they believed it was in Russell's best interest to have his right leg amputated above the knee. His leg had begun die and if left infection would set in and spread through out his body.
Russell was too heavily sedated to sign any forms. Comforted by two close friends, and with a prayer, I hesitantly signed. This was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was deeply worried how Russell would react when he found out that his leg had been amputated. I began to talk to him, repeating again and again what was too happen. Later that day, in the afternoon, Russell opened his eyes. I was so excited but forced composure. He began to gesture with his hands; I could tell he was trying to tell me something.
With all the tubes down his throat it was hopeless. He had a message but there was no way he could communicate it. I told him I loved him. Seeing our frustration the ICU staff gave me an alphabet board. I told Russell to blink when I got to the letter he wanted. He spelt out "TIN L". I got it immediately and said excitedly "Tin legs Bader".
A look of relief and joy came on Russell's face, he had got his message across and I knew exactly what it meant. In April Russell had read the story of Douglas Bader. Tin Legs Bader (his nick-name), was an ace spitfire pilot in World War II. Before the war he had a terrible flying accident in which he lost both his legs.
This story had inspired Russell so much that he had insisted in telling me all about it. I must admit that at the time I wasn't all that interested. But now it took on a whole new significance. Russell, without being able to speak due to tubes in his throat had told me that he understood that he was going to loose his leg and that he was going to try to be as courageous as Tin Legs Bader had been all those years ago.
I felt so much relief, a huge weight off my shoulders, a peace that is difficult to explain. Twenty minutes later Russell was taken into the operating theatre to have his leg amputated.
Four days later Russell was strong enough (thanks to the excellent care of the Doctors and nurses of ICU), to be moved to a normal hospital ward. Already Russell was inundated with get-well cards, phone calls and visitors. It was now time for me to return home to help the children process what had happened to their Dad, and sort out the huge pile of bills that had already started to arrive.
The next six weeks for Russell were given to healing and physio. The toughest week for Russell was after the September school holidays. The kids and I had come to Sydney to see him. Russell's spirits were high and he was showing great courage and confidence. After we left to go home he hit rock bottom. Russell described it as the most painful week of his life, both physically and emotionally. It was difficult listening to him cry on the telephone, but it seemed all that he could do.
A chaplain from the hospital spent some hours with him, helping him to see this as part of the entire experience of losing his leg. Russell was deep in grief. During this time Russell experienced excruciating pain. I said above that it was physical, however, it is difficult to define. They call it "Phantom Pain". The nerves in Russell's stump send the message to the brain that there is an injury in his leg and foot, even though they are no longer there. Russell feels the pain as if his leg and foot are still there. He still gets this "phantom pain" but not to the same degree.
The following week was what Russell describes as his miracle week. On the Tuesday evening he began to feel ill in the stomach. He had picked up a stomach bug and spent the night throwing up. He was feeling very weak the next day.
A hospital psychiatrist came to do an assessment on him. He is still not sure why, but was happy to tell the psychiatrist his life story. The conclusion was an expression of amazement at how well Russell was, overall, coping with what had happened to him. Next some dear friends visited which encouraged him. In the afternoon a Police Officer came and took his accident statement. This took at least two hours and by the end Russell was exhausted. All he wanted to do was go to sleep. It was now late afternoon.
Another psychiatrist came. Russell thinks that it was to confirm what the first psychiatrist had concluded, which he did. Then a woman visited. Russell asked, "Do I know you?" The answer was most surprising. "I am the wife of the man who was driving the car that hit you!"
Russell was amazed at the courage she had to come and see him. He invited her to sit and they talked hand in hand. Both her and her husband had been deeply worried and grieved over what had happened.
She told their story. Her husband had a heart condition that was only discovered through the events of the accident. He was in RPA that day having a procedure to open his blocked arteries.
He was asking if Russell would be willing to see him. What would you do? How would you have received this woman? Russell had already determined what his response was going to be. He said it the moment the accident happened, "It's all right mate, we'll get through it".
Russell and I are committed Christians. This means putting into practice in our daily lives the teachings of Jesus. Jesus said, "Forgive as your heavenly Father has forgiven you". This was the path that Russell was travelling. The only other option was one of anger, bitterness and hatred. Russell saw this man. He said to him that he forgave him, and held nothing personally against him.
I am deeply proud of my husband of staying true to his beliefs in these difficult circumstances. Not only did he observe a "doctrine", but more importantly, he demonstrated that he is characterized by it. What would the world be like if there were more men like my husband? Would you have the courage to look someone in the eye, someone who had caused you grievous bodily harm, and tell him or her to be at peace for you forgive?
Two days later Russell was transferred to Balmain Rehabilitation Hospital. The following week, after seven and a half weeks in hospital, he was discharged. He is staying at his brother's place in Sydney for the next few months under going physiotherapy and being fitted with a prosthesis.
Although the children did get to see their dad in the September school holidays, they miss him terribly. Our kids really love their father. He is their idol. The pain and trauma of the beginning of the story has begun to fade. The hardest thing now is the separation and knowing the kids long to see their dad again.
People ask me, "What do you need? Is their anything you need?" I generally say, we are being well looked after. There is, however, one thing. I am embarrassed to mention it. Our car is aging. We have no means of replacing it.
Living in Broken Hill requires a lot of long distance travelling. If there is one need we have, that is beyond our current means, it is the purchasing of a new car. Any car we have will need to be modified as Russell lost his right leg. We are questioning the wisdom of modifying our current vehicle in view of its age and life expectancy. As there are six of us we need a people mover type vehicle. If, anyone reading this can help us, we would greatly appreciate it.
Although our story still continues, I hope and pray that what has happened so far will help and inspire others to get through their tough times. I want it to be remembered that malice, anger and hatred don't give life, they destroy it.
Look for the good that can come from your tragedies. U2 sing a song called "Grace". They sing: "Grace finds beauty in ugly things". Russell says that he has experienced God's grace throughout this whole ordeal. He has seen the goodness. You can too.
Here is a list of the good things, both small and big, that Russell has seen:
* I am alive.
* I didn't get any other injuries.
* People were on the scene to administer first aid very quickly
* I live in Australia where we have an amazing health system - Ambulance, Royal Flying Doctors Service, and hospitals. Doctors, nurse's cleaners etc. The staff at RPA are awesome.
* People who care - I received heaps of cards, visitors, and emails.
* I have been re-united with some friends that I have not seen for 15 years or more.
* My wife, who I think is a hero, loves me. I think this whole experience has deepened our love for each other.
* My children have matured. They have supported their mum. They have asked some incredible questions that they would not have asked if this hadn't happened.
* I have spent real quality time with my dad and mum. Over the past 20 years I have live out of Sydney. I have not spent much time with my parents. Dad gave himself to visiting me and spending time. It was very rich.
* My relationship with my brothers and their families has deepened. My older brother has been awesome allowing me to stay with his family until I am ready to go home.
* I am a member of the Ulysses Club. I have made new friends. People I have never met before visiting me and phoning offering their encouragement.
* A friend is taking me to the U2 concert this Friday (10/11/06).
* I trust a God who isn't afraid to allow these kinds of things to happen in order to get our attention and help us become better people.
Sue Hodge
Ph. 08 80879078
Our Story over the past few months has been tragic, challenging, enriching, amazing and worth sharing.
On the 9th September 2006 at approximately 4.30pm my stomach churned. My worst fear had been realized. I had the sense to sit down as I tried to take in what I was being told. As I held the phone to my ear I listened as the Police Officer informed me in a hurried fashion that my husband had been involved in a serious motor vehicle accident west of Nyngan, and was being loaded into an ambulance as he spoke.
I suddenly felt the energy drain from my body but my mind went into overtime with a whirl of questions. What part of his body was hurt? Was it a head injury? Is his spine OK? Is he dying? The officer informed me that his right leg looked severely hurt. I remember saying, "Thank God its not his head or spine." The officer replied, "but you must realize its very bad."
I have been married to a motorcyclist for 16 years. My mind had often played out the scene of receiving a phone call from the Police informing me that my worst fears had been realized. I breathed a sigh of relief - it didn't sound life threatening, it was his leg not his head. It wasn't until later, when I saw him that the gravity of it all hit me.
Russell was to attend quarterly meetings held in Dubbo for Cornerstone Community. Russell was 30km west of Nyngan travelling on his pride and joy, a Yamaha FJR1300, when he saw the oncoming vehicle stray onto his side of the road. Russell took action, moving to the far left of his lane and preparing to go of the road, but it was too late.
Before he knew it he was hit, flung and was scraping along the ground to a stop. He groaned, and then prayed as he saw his leg had been sliced open by the impact of the car.
Very quickly people were on the scene offering help and comfort. An ambulance had been called. Who these people were I don't know. But they could be called angels as they administered first aid and kept Russell as comfortable as possible.
Russell remembers a voice saying, "Sorry mate, I must have blanked out." He felt the touch of rough hands taking his. How would you respond? What would you say to the man who was driving the car that hit you? Russell said, "It's alright mate, we'll get through it."
Russell was ambulanced to Dubbo Base Hospital. After medical evaluation he was flown to Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPA) in Sydney. This was to be his home for the next seven weeks.
Russell and I have four children. We live in the city of Broken Hill located in far west NSW. Friends quickly came to my rescue. The kids were billeted with friends until their Grandmother arrived to look after them. A flight to Sydney was organized and paid for. Very soon I found myself in a surreal situation. I was in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) of RPA looking at my husband who had tubes protruding from every possible place, pale as death, and in an induced coma.
Although I felt powerless, I also had a deep sense of confidence that Russell was in the right place to have the best chance of recovery. I watched with awe as the staff of RPA ICU worked to stabilize Russell's condition. His body had gone into severe shock causing fluid on the lungs. He was suffering from severe pneumonia. It became evident that shock was more life threatening than the leg injury.
Russell wasn't the only one suffering from shock. After his condition was stabilized, the doctors informed me that they believed it was in Russell's best interest to have his right leg amputated above the knee. His leg had begun die and if left infection would set in and spread through out his body.
Russell was too heavily sedated to sign any forms. Comforted by two close friends, and with a prayer, I hesitantly signed. This was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was deeply worried how Russell would react when he found out that his leg had been amputated. I began to talk to him, repeating again and again what was too happen. Later that day, in the afternoon, Russell opened his eyes. I was so excited but forced composure. He began to gesture with his hands; I could tell he was trying to tell me something.
With all the tubes down his throat it was hopeless. He had a message but there was no way he could communicate it. I told him I loved him. Seeing our frustration the ICU staff gave me an alphabet board. I told Russell to blink when I got to the letter he wanted. He spelt out "TIN L". I got it immediately and said excitedly "Tin legs Bader".
A look of relief and joy came on Russell's face, he had got his message across and I knew exactly what it meant. In April Russell had read the story of Douglas Bader. Tin Legs Bader (his nick-name), was an ace spitfire pilot in World War II. Before the war he had a terrible flying accident in which he lost both his legs.
This story had inspired Russell so much that he had insisted in telling me all about it. I must admit that at the time I wasn't all that interested. But now it took on a whole new significance. Russell, without being able to speak due to tubes in his throat had told me that he understood that he was going to loose his leg and that he was going to try to be as courageous as Tin Legs Bader had been all those years ago.
I felt so much relief, a huge weight off my shoulders, a peace that is difficult to explain. Twenty minutes later Russell was taken into the operating theatre to have his leg amputated.
Four days later Russell was strong enough (thanks to the excellent care of the Doctors and nurses of ICU), to be moved to a normal hospital ward. Already Russell was inundated with get-well cards, phone calls and visitors. It was now time for me to return home to help the children process what had happened to their Dad, and sort out the huge pile of bills that had already started to arrive.
The next six weeks for Russell were given to healing and physio. The toughest week for Russell was after the September school holidays. The kids and I had come to Sydney to see him. Russell's spirits were high and he was showing great courage and confidence. After we left to go home he hit rock bottom. Russell described it as the most painful week of his life, both physically and emotionally. It was difficult listening to him cry on the telephone, but it seemed all that he could do.
A chaplain from the hospital spent some hours with him, helping him to see this as part of the entire experience of losing his leg. Russell was deep in grief. During this time Russell experienced excruciating pain. I said above that it was physical, however, it is difficult to define. They call it "Phantom Pain". The nerves in Russell's stump send the message to the brain that there is an injury in his leg and foot, even though they are no longer there. Russell feels the pain as if his leg and foot are still there. He still gets this "phantom pain" but not to the same degree.
The following week was what Russell describes as his miracle week. On the Tuesday evening he began to feel ill in the stomach. He had picked up a stomach bug and spent the night throwing up. He was feeling very weak the next day.
A hospital psychiatrist came to do an assessment on him. He is still not sure why, but was happy to tell the psychiatrist his life story. The conclusion was an expression of amazement at how well Russell was, overall, coping with what had happened to him. Next some dear friends visited which encouraged him. In the afternoon a Police Officer came and took his accident statement. This took at least two hours and by the end Russell was exhausted. All he wanted to do was go to sleep. It was now late afternoon.
Another psychiatrist came. Russell thinks that it was to confirm what the first psychiatrist had concluded, which he did. Then a woman visited. Russell asked, "Do I know you?" The answer was most surprising. "I am the wife of the man who was driving the car that hit you!"
Russell was amazed at the courage she had to come and see him. He invited her to sit and they talked hand in hand. Both her and her husband had been deeply worried and grieved over what had happened.
She told their story. Her husband had a heart condition that was only discovered through the events of the accident. He was in RPA that day having a procedure to open his blocked arteries.
He was asking if Russell would be willing to see him. What would you do? How would you have received this woman? Russell had already determined what his response was going to be. He said it the moment the accident happened, "It's all right mate, we'll get through it".
Russell and I are committed Christians. This means putting into practice in our daily lives the teachings of Jesus. Jesus said, "Forgive as your heavenly Father has forgiven you". This was the path that Russell was travelling. The only other option was one of anger, bitterness and hatred. Russell saw this man. He said to him that he forgave him, and held nothing personally against him.
I am deeply proud of my husband of staying true to his beliefs in these difficult circumstances. Not only did he observe a "doctrine", but more importantly, he demonstrated that he is characterized by it. What would the world be like if there were more men like my husband? Would you have the courage to look someone in the eye, someone who had caused you grievous bodily harm, and tell him or her to be at peace for you forgive?
Two days later Russell was transferred to Balmain Rehabilitation Hospital. The following week, after seven and a half weeks in hospital, he was discharged. He is staying at his brother's place in Sydney for the next few months under going physiotherapy and being fitted with a prosthesis.
Although the children did get to see their dad in the September school holidays, they miss him terribly. Our kids really love their father. He is their idol. The pain and trauma of the beginning of the story has begun to fade. The hardest thing now is the separation and knowing the kids long to see their dad again.
People ask me, "What do you need? Is their anything you need?" I generally say, we are being well looked after. There is, however, one thing. I am embarrassed to mention it. Our car is aging. We have no means of replacing it.
Living in Broken Hill requires a lot of long distance travelling. If there is one need we have, that is beyond our current means, it is the purchasing of a new car. Any car we have will need to be modified as Russell lost his right leg. We are questioning the wisdom of modifying our current vehicle in view of its age and life expectancy. As there are six of us we need a people mover type vehicle. If, anyone reading this can help us, we would greatly appreciate it.
Although our story still continues, I hope and pray that what has happened so far will help and inspire others to get through their tough times. I want it to be remembered that malice, anger and hatred don't give life, they destroy it.
Look for the good that can come from your tragedies. U2 sing a song called "Grace". They sing: "Grace finds beauty in ugly things". Russell says that he has experienced God's grace throughout this whole ordeal. He has seen the goodness. You can too.
Here is a list of the good things, both small and big, that Russell has seen:
* I am alive.
* I didn't get any other injuries.
* People were on the scene to administer first aid very quickly
* I live in Australia where we have an amazing health system - Ambulance, Royal Flying Doctors Service, and hospitals. Doctors, nurse's cleaners etc. The staff at RPA are awesome.
* People who care - I received heaps of cards, visitors, and emails.
* I have been re-united with some friends that I have not seen for 15 years or more.
* My wife, who I think is a hero, loves me. I think this whole experience has deepened our love for each other.
* My children have matured. They have supported their mum. They have asked some incredible questions that they would not have asked if this hadn't happened.
* I have spent real quality time with my dad and mum. Over the past 20 years I have live out of Sydney. I have not spent much time with my parents. Dad gave himself to visiting me and spending time. It was very rich.
* My relationship with my brothers and their families has deepened. My older brother has been awesome allowing me to stay with his family until I am ready to go home.
* I am a member of the Ulysses Club. I have made new friends. People I have never met before visiting me and phoning offering their encouragement.
* A friend is taking me to the U2 concert this Friday (10/11/06).
* I trust a God who isn't afraid to allow these kinds of things to happen in order to get our attention and help us become better people.
Sue Hodge
Ph. 08 80879078
